Work.

Work is therapeutic.

Instead of lying around grumbling and feeling sorry for myself and my situation, I prefer to work. I live in the upper midwest where spring means winter one day, summer the next, and back to winter again. So until yesterday I was doing a lot of busywork inside, sewing, mending, cleaning.

Yesterday was warm, and today too, so I spent all day raking, shoveling, weeding, burning, chopping, building, cleaning. I'm sunburned and tired. It feels good.

But as soon as I stop working, the pain comes back.


I am running out of things to do.

I don't want to live with hatred and pain. I want to feel better. I might feel better in a few minutes, or tomorrow. I do have moments where I feel better. I just wish there were more of the good and fewer of the bad.


It just goes to show the temporary nature of things.


I need a sign.

"Will work for peace of mind."