Lessons.

I read about and talk about and teach about pure love and forgiveness all the time, but I guess it never really clicked for me until recently.

The joy in my heart, having reached a place of pure, honest, golden forgiveness, is indescribable. I feel like my soul is bubbling, my heart is singing. I feel like everything is right in my world no matter what happened in the past or what may happen in the future.

Now to work on attachment. I need to meditate and cultivate non-attachment. This is a hard concept to explain, but I'll try my best.

Everything in this world is temporary. It is all fleeting - the good, the bad, everything. If we become too focused on any one thing (in my case, the good feeling I have right now), we remain caught up in the web of samsara. It is essential to become un-attached. We need to recognize all aspects of life as the impermanent illusions that they are, and accept them as such, or we will never find pure happiness. We will forever be grasping for that which cannot be reached and thus never attain a state of openness and understanding.

It feels better to be accepting, open, and receptive rather than struggling, reaching, seeking without finding. Not only that, but when we free ourselves from attachment and seeking, we can better give our love and compassion to the world and it's sentient beings. We begin to see the world as it really is, instead of stuck in our bubble of false ego. We see the connected nature of beings and can propagate unadulterated love.

When we begin to see our enemies as teachers, we have taken a step towards enlightenment. I never considered my husband my enemy, but his actions and my anger and pain were. But what an incredible lesson this pain and hurt has taught me - who would ever have thought I'd be grateful for it?