Happiness.

I have decided that I am going to choose happiness.

It has been almost four months since I discovered my husband's infidelity, and little has been accomplished. I've held onto my anger, lashing out at him periodically, plotting revenge against him and his mistress, killing myself inside over and over.

No more.

I am choosing to be happy in spite of my situation. When the pain comes - and trust me, it does - I notice it. I look at it, examine its source, and allow it to pass. I am choosing to be happy with all I have instead of mourning what I have lost.

Despite what he has done, I have a man who loves me. I have five incredible children. I have amazing friends and family who have stuck by me even in my darkest moments. I have a home and a car and running water and electricity. I can read, I can write. I am able to pursue my hobbies. I have a little dog who thinks I'm god. There is always enough to eat. I am a person worthy of love. I am physically attractive with a spirit to match. I have been blessed with experiences to share with the world.

I choose happiness, in spite of what life brings. Perhaps I'll get a divorce, or maybe I won't. It's not something I need to worry about in this moment. Right now, I'm going to be happy.