Saturday, November 5, 2011


I truly think the world would be a better place without me.

Nothing I do is ever good enough for anyone. Everyone I have ever loved has betrayed me, lied to me, turned on me.

I've tried so hard to be a good person. I worked at my marriage and loved my husband with all my heart. I've remained neutral in arguments with family and done everything in my power to be a decent, good person.

And what I got in return was cheating, lies, backbiting, betrayal.

I don't expect perfection from people.

But I also don't expect to be treated like a piece of trash, and especially not from those who I love the most - my husband, my mother, my friends, my aunt.

I think it would be better if one morning they woke up and I wasn't here anymore. My presence in this world is not beneficial to anyone. Not a single person.

You might say, "What about your children?"

And I tell you this. In all the years I have been a mother, I have been called a bad one literally thousands of times. I have been threatened with CPS because of choices that I made, choices that did not affect my children in any way. I have heard the ranting for so long, what a horrible person and mother I am - from so many people. If one person tells you this you might be hurt or angry but it's been everyone close to me. And when everyone you know says these things, you need to look at your life and take notice. They must have a point.

My children would be better off without me.

I hope they can all understand where I'm coming from. I don't want to poison the world anymore.

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