Friday, October 14, 2011

Too Late.

Days and weeks and months go by, and not much changes.

It is not infidelity that ruined our marriage.

Infidelity was a nail in the coffin, but our marriage was shit long before I found out he had been cheating.

Post-infidelity, he was vicious, mean, abusive. He was a better husband while he was screwing her.

But he was never the husband I needed.

I was always forgotten on holidays (Mother's Day, etc.) I was never complimented. It was only in the last year or so that he started complimenting me.

I was controlled like a child - never allowed to do anything or go anywhere.

If I had the nerve to go anywhere without him, he would text and call constantly.

When I worked at a real job, years ago, he called me at work at least twice a day.

I was never allowed to handle the household finances. If I spent money whiel I was away from him, I had to account for every penny.

As soon as I would leave the house or go to bed, he would check my internet history and text messages. This continues even now.

Now, he's all lovey dovey to me. Compliments me, holds me, buys me little gifts.

But it's too late.

It's just too late for us.

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